sam pranger silvaine, lmhc
Welcome! I’m Sam, and I’m a relationship therapist. I began working with couples and relationships because I believe healthy relationships are an essential pathway to individual and collective healing. In our work together, we will identify some of your core relationship patterns and find their origins, often stemming from your childhood. I’ll help you become more aware of your individual thoughts, feelings, and underlying motives in your relationship so that you can learn to understand and take responsibility for the impacts of your behaviors on each other. Ultimately, I hope to help you find ways to care for each other that feel nourishing, consensual, and interdependent.
I work with couples and relationships of all types, though I specialize in working with queer folks, including those in relationships in which at least one partner is non-cisgender. Additionally, I have expertise in polyamory and ethical/consensual non-monogamy. That said, I also enjoy and work extensively with cisgender couples in straight, monogamous relationships, especially those interested in challenging societal and normative gender expectations.
SOME OF WHAT I WORK ON WITH COUPLES INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO:
​
-
​Improving communication – moving away from feeling like you get nowhere in your conversations or that you’re talking in circles/past each other
-
Navigating non-monogamy or considering opening your relationship, including issues related to boundaries and jealousy
-
Challenging gender roles and expectations – in a household, in parenting, in sex – to have a more fulfilling, vulnerable, and authentic relationship
-
Increasing sexual intimacy and satisfaction
-
Repairing past hurts that continue to impact your relationship now
-
Navigating co-parenting, including as new parents or in anticipation of becoming new parents
-
Discerning whether or not your current relationship is what is best for you, or redefining the roles you want to have for each other
-
Understanding the impacts of trauma, mental health, and/or neurotype on your relationship
-
Preparing to move in together
Prior to being in private practice (and after working in the field of ecological conservation), I worked at college counseling centers and also had a brief stint in academia.
Outside of work, I love spending time with my spouse, friends, and dog; working on a never-ending list of house projects; exploring and playing outdoors; and trying to perfect the wood fired pizza (I haven’t).
Massachusetts LMHC License #10000537
North Carolina LMHC License #11854
APPROACH
I pull from multiple theoretical sources for couples and relationship therapy but am predominantly informed by the following: Emotionally Focused Therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson; Relational Life Therapy, developed by Terry Real; and Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFS couples therapy), largely developed by Toni Herbine-Blank. However, most couples modalities have been developed under normative cultural conditions (i.e. for cisgender, heterosexual, monogamous couples who cohabitate). Therefore, these modalities can have limitations, so I also integrate queer and feminist theories into our work together. We can explore this more in detail as relevant to you, and I commit to working hard in challenging some of the antiquated and sometimes harmful societal relationship expectations – regardless of gender identity, gender socialization, or sexuality – in our work together.
I MAY BE A GOOD FIT FOR YOU AS A THERAPIST IF:
-
You understand that healing can take time, and you are ready to invest in this process
-
You feel ready to take responsibility for your impact on your partner(s)
-
You are curious about what your partner(s) may need from you
-
You feel open to exploring your positions of privilege and marginalization, as relevant to your relationship
-
You are open to direct, compassionate feedback from your therapist and/or your partner(s)
-
You believe that relationships take skill, and you want to develop more of it
WE PROBABLY AREN'T A GOOD FIT IF:
-
There have been instances of physical, sexual, or psychological violence or manipulation in your relationship
-
You don’t want to do work outside of session to continue improving your relationship
-
You don’t believe that your past (i.e. childhood) has an impact on your present and/or don’t want to change the impact that it has
primary modalities
1) Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
2) Relational Life Therapy
3) Intimacy from the Inside Out
(IFS couples therapy)
QUALIFICATIONS
MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling
2015 , Western Carolina University, Cullowhee, NC
BA in Environmental Studies
University of PIttsburgh: Pittsburgh, PA
EFT Externship
January 2020, Atlanta
​
​
Relational Life Therapy Level 1
Online
IFS Online Circle
Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO)
Online
​
Land acknowledgment: We live and work on the unceded territory of the Nipmuc, Pocumtuc, and Nonotuck Peoples, who have stewarded this land for many generations.